A Smooth Separation - Is it even Possible?

1 February 2021

Splitting from any relationship can be tough, but when you have been together for a while and share children, property, assets and debts, tough just got tougher. No matter how amicable a split starts out as, once important decisions need to be made and a new reality experienced, even the most level-headed of exes can fall out.


Whether you are married, in a civil union or have been living together in a de facto relationship for more than three years, the presumption is that relationship property is split 50/50 (unless a contracting out agreement was signed). However, when is life as clear cut as that?


  • Who is going to be responsible for the larger share of day to day childcare? How are the children going to be supported financially?
  • Who is going to stay living in the family home? Can they afford to pay the mortgage, bills, and maintenance, and insurances etc?
  • What is going to happen to the furniture? Is the other partner going to be compensated if it is not split 50/50?
  • What assets do you have? Do you have a business? Superannuation? 
  • Whose name are any debts in? Mortgage and credit cards are the most obvious shared debts but what about hire purchase agreements? 


When relationships end there is a huge amount of emotional and financial uncertainty. The temptation, especially if you want to end a relationship as swiftly as possible, is to rely on verbal agreements about child custody and assets etc.  However, situations and circumstances can change quickly, and problems arise when conversations are conveniently forgotten. Besides, verbal contracts can rarely be enforced should an ex not honour arrangements. 


So, what can you do?  One way to level the playing field is to have a separation agreement. A separation agreement gives both parties a degree of protection and stability during this difficult time. 


What is a separation agreement?



A separation agreement is a written record of when both partners agree the date the relationship ended (key information for dissolution) and the responsibilities they are going to have moving forward. A separation agreement is an unsung hero for separating couples, and its power should not be underestimated. 

How can a separation agreement help you?



  • Helps to keep relationship amicable and prevent future disagreements.
  • Saves time and money spent on lawyers
  • If successful, it can be used as the basis for your dissolution consent order


Dissolution court proceedings have a habit of turning even amicable separations acrimonious, so if you can iron out the differences before you get to court, you will find that the process is streamlined and so much less stressful (and cheaper too).


Being able to resolve key issues early on is especially important if you have children together. Reducing the opportunity for disputes to arise, separation agreements can help you move on with your life without the need for escalating conflict and legal costs – so yes, a smooth separation is possible, and we can help you negotiate the middle ground.


Weston Ward & Lascelles are leading family and divorce lawyers in Christchurch. We are passionate about helping our clients navigate their relationship breakdowns so they can reach the best emotional and financial position possible for their circumstances.  You may feel alone right now, but we are with you every step of the way. 


Contact us today to book an appointment with one of our Christchurch family lawyers.


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