Can a parent stop a child from seeing the other parent?

23 September 2022

Being a parent is an emotional rollercoaster. Being a parent in the aftermath of a separation or when a marriage or civil union dissolves is another level. It’s tough going. The stresses of negotiating a relationship property agreement and separation agreement often pale into insignificance when it comes to issues surrounding the custody and access of children. 


It’s very normal to feel bitter, angry, and frustrated when a relationship fails. However, it is crucial the child or children’s best interests are at the forefront of your mind with every interaction you have with them and your ex.


In our role as family lawyers in Christchurch, we are often asked ‘can my ex stop me from seeing my child?’. There are typically three scenarios that provoke the question:


1.    The parents are no longer together, and the child lives with one parent. The parent with whom the child lives is actively limiting the agreed contact time between the child and the other parent.


2.    The parents have an agreement on visitation and contact time, but the child is unwilling to see the non-residing parent, who believes the other parent is encouraging the behaviour.


3.    The parents have an existing Court Order, but one parent is not complying.


To answer the question in short, the answer is no: legally a parent cannot stop the other parent from seeing their child. There are exceptions such as the child being abused or child abduction (in which case an urgent custody order application to the Family Courts must be made), or there is a Parenting Order made in the Family Law Court to the contrary.


What can you do if you are stopped from seeing your child or want to stop a parent seeing their child?

It’s important to seek early legal advice from a Family Lawyer, no matter which scenario above applies to you. It will save you time, money and stress in the long run.


Unless there is risk of harm to your child and if circumstances allow, Weston Ward & Lascelles strongly encourage clients to seek an alternative dispute resolution before even thinking about Court. A breakdown in communication amplifies emotions, so it’s incredibly helpful to identify and define the matters in dispute and discuss the issues constructively.


For example, if contact is restricted because a parent believes the other does not share their parenting courses skills, it can be an area of conflict. But if the parent is capable and does not endanger the child, the restriction maybe unjustified. The conflict can be resolved through parenting classes or financial agreement to moderate behaviour.


Be mindful that Family Courts recognise both parents play an important part in helping a child’s mental, emotional, physical, cultural, and social development. If an agreement can’t be negotiated. The Family Court will make decisions on the child’s behalf – sometimes their terms are not as agreeable to the parents as the ones proposed in mediation.


Weston Ward & Lascelles have extensive experience of helping our clients navigate the Family violence Law matters to achieve the best outcome for all parties, but especially for the child. Our Christchurch family lawyers serve our clients with a deep level of compassion, care and understanding. If you need some legal advice or wish to discuss your circumstances, contact us today. 

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